Ravings Of A Mad Man
by Petague Killaboo
Summary: On the corner of Leaf Fort Road and Bark Boulevard, just near the end of market street was a man. A mad man who rambled from dawn 'til dusk. Somehow poor little Iruka comes to know this man as he carves out his own ninja path. A young Iruka Story!
1. Babbles About Water

**Disclaimer: Disclaimed**

* * *

_**Babbles About Water**_

On the corner of Leaf Fort Road and Bark Boulevard, just near the end of market street was a man. He stood 6 feet and 3 inches, clothed in dirty and torn fabric, and surrounded by the odor of trash and the outdoors. His face obscured by tangled hair and a scraggily bread with a mouth full of jagged and missing teeth. He spewed mad ramblings aided by the thrashing of his limps, a consent babble, which started at the first of light and ended only with the last just before the day's end.

Every village had at least one or two lunatics stumbling around, spewing madness at anyone that dared to pass within arms distant. This man was no different, sometimes even daring to latch onto a poor soul and grabble in their face. He had no cardboard signs to visually assault with, just the auditory attack of his rough voice that would constantly grind against the Konohan's ear drums. The Mad Man of Market Street, he was often called by the younger children, who'd stand across the way from him and watch him flail about. It was on one brisk morning that Iruka, running late for his first team meeting, had his first encounter with the man.

Newly graduated and charged with excitement at the next step in his ninja life. Iruka was paying little attention to his surroundings. Suddenly something snagged his arm and yanked him clean off his feet. Startled by the abrupt change in his position, feet dangling above the ground, Iruka let out a soft gasp. "A new lamb for the slaughter," a gruff voice spoke from his left to which he turned large round eyes at. The Mad Man of Market Street had one large hand clamped onto his much smaller arm.

"Put me down," Iruka snapped once the man's words caught up with his startled mind.

"No," the man replied shortly and turned carrying Iruka off.

"Help," Iruka began calling to the onlookers, "He's kidnapping me."

"You're a ninja," the crazy man snorted, "You should be able to get out of this." Iruka opened his mouth to retort only to realize that, yes he should be able to get out of this. He looked from his raised arm down to his dangling feet then back up and over to the much large arm. He was being held out from the man's bulky form such that only the tips of his toes could reach. He reached up with his other hand and pulled up. Apparently the man wasn't having any of that and shook his arm, dislodging Iruka with a couple shakes.

"Stop that," Iruka growled after the fourth shake, "Where are you taking me?" He asked after realizing that the sounds of the market had faded into a dull roar.

The man stopped and looked around a bit confusedly, as if this was his first time seeing this place. "Right here," he answered setting Iruka on his feet but still not letting go.

"Where's here?" Iruka asked. It was a side street, with very little markings to give away their exact location.

"Here is here," the man answered simply.

"Well, here is not where I want to be," Iruka growled tugging at his arm again. The man's grip was surprisingly strong and his large fingers made Iruka's arm look smaller than it actually was. The man watched him blankly for several long minutes as Iruka tried several ways of dislodging his hand. "Ugh," Iruka stopped and stared grumpily at the offending appendage. "I'm going to be late."

"Late," the man echoed, "Late is only how other people perceive time." Oh no, Iruka thought. "A ninja is never late. You arrive when you mean to arrive." Here we go, Iruka sighed as the man prepared to launch into his ramble. Iruka sighed resigning himself to his fate. It seemed this mad man had adopted a new method for getting people to listen, kidnapping.

"A Ninja," Iruka interjected, "Should never be late. If a Ninja is late for a mission then that means their target can get away."

"Only if you look at it in the wrong way," The man countered. "If you arrive on time you could be arriving on time for the enemies trap."

"Only if the enemy knows I'm coming. I am a ninja, I'm supposed to be able to outsmart my opponent," Iruka retorted.

The man suddenly leaned in close, tugging Iruka toward him with a sharp pull, "There is always someone smarter than you, always someone stronger. Never believe that you can out do your opponent by sheer force. It is better to let everything flow, flow like water and adjust to the surroundings." Iruka blinked startled and a little bit repulsed by the horrid smell of the man's breath. "Water does not push. It flows in and around objects. Taking shape as it needs to and becomes formless when it needs to. You cannot hold water in your hands, it will only slip through the cracks of your fingers. It wears down rock and can carve out canyons, but never does it just push with force. It flows." Iruka opened his mouth only to close unsure how to reply. "A ninja should be like water as much as he is like shadows," The man said with an air of finality as he released Iruka's arm and ambled up the small street without looking back.

* * *

Iruka arrived at his first team meeting still a little dazed by the mad man's words. He was unsure what it all meant and was ready to chuck it all up to another one of his crazy rambles. "Glad of you to join us," his new sensei drawled looking Iruka up and down. Even though his entire team was freshly graduated from the academy, Iruka was still a little smaller then his teammates. The girl on his team was maybe a head or two taller than him and the boy definitely had more muscles then he did.

"Sorry I'm late Sensei," Iruka bowed, "I was…" he paused looking off to the side in thought, "Detained by a troubled civilian." He finished.

"Yes well," His Sensei a man with broad shoulders and a clean shaven face, scrunched his nose at Iruka, "Don't be late next time." Iruka bowed again. "First off I want to see what you're all capable of." The man begun, "If you impress me," he looked at them in a manner that suggested they wouldn't. "We'll start to get to know each other. I'm not going to waste my time learning about kids that have no worth." Iruka glared at the man's turned back, heavily insulted by the Jounin's words. They were more than worthy, well the other two were. He was a little below the grade point having spent most of his time as the class clown. "First," their newly appointed sensei grunted sitting down on a tree stump, "I want to see your skills. I don't care what you do to each other just as long as you don't kill each other."

"That's it," asked Iruka. The man raised an eye brow at him. "I mean you're not going to like, ya know do some kind of test where we have to steal something from you."

"Why?" the man asked tilting his head with amusement, "It's not like you'd get it from me anyways. No this is quicker." He finished before Iruka could retort. "Now go ahead. I'll be watching from here." He patted his stump.

* * *

While the young girl Tomoko was smart tactically, the other boy was every bit like his name Kenta. He was big and strong, all bronze and little brain. He powered through several of Iruka's traps and tore through Tomoko's own defenses. Logically speaking Iruka knew his best option would be to team up with Tomoko, but the girl believed he'd get in the way. A loud scream tore through the clearing as Tomoko went sailing through the air and into another tree. Iruka watched with a grimace as she tumbled from the tree seemingly hitting every branch on the way down. She landed at the base with a resounding thud that echoed in Iruka's ears. That could be him next, he realized as he huddled deeper into the leaves.

Tomoko struggled to her feet, grunting as she did so. Kenta growled and stormed across the clearing. His head lowered like a bull's and his nostrils flaring wide. Tomoko dodged easily enough but stumbled slightly as she landed, obviously still feeling the effects of her crash landing only moments ago. Kenta veered off his course quicker then his hulking body would suggest. In that instance Iruka saw it. There would be no way for Tomoko to dodge this next attack. For a moment he contemplated on letting the girl take the hit. Then he caught her eyes. A look of absolute fear and defeat had stolen her previously calm and proud features. The next thing Iruka knew, he was hurtling through the air and ramming into the charging boy of a bull. He veered off course and into a tree where he bounced off and fell to the ground. Iruka for his part dropped onto his backside, head creaking against the ground and leaving him a little dazed.

Kenta was up on his feet seemingly unfazed by the surprised attack. Iruka had just enough time to sit up and shake the stars from his eyes before Tomoko reached down and tugged him up. He found his feet quickly as they raced across the clearing and into a tree. "We're out matched in strength," Tomoko panted as Kenta's eyes darted around the clearing for them.

"Well duh," Iruka panted back watching as Kenta jumped into the trees and disappeared among the leaves. "Great now we have to find him."

"Or he'll find us," Tomoko hissed already scanning the surrounding trees, "We have to come up with a plan."

"Well," Iruka looked down at the clearing then to some of the trees and finally let his eyes fall on Tomoko. She raised an eyebrow at his thoughtful expression. "If I can buy you sometime," he started looking into his pouch of ninja gear, "We might be able to come up with something nifty."

"Nifty?" she echoed titling her head, her black bangs swishing across her already bruising face.

"Do you remember that trap expert that visited us a few months before the test?" he asked pulling at her pouch until she handed it to him.

"Yeah," she answered starting to catch on.

"Think you can pull it off?" he asked handing her pouch over with his. She took them with a thoughtful frowned on her face, trying to recall the details of the trap.

"Maybe," she finally said, "But I'm going to need a lot of time."

"I'll give you as much as I can," he replied jumping into the clearing.

* * *

Kenta grunted as he jumped into the next tree attempting to sense the other two students. He was intent on proving his worth to his sensei, even if that meant beating his _teammates_ into submission. At least he would then prove that _he_ was _worthy_. He scanned a few trees before leaping to the next. He had originally wanted to take the biggest competition, Tomoko, out. The girl was smart, and quick. She had always scored high in all the practical tests. But when it came to muscle, she was just like every other woman, weak. He thought much like his father. Women belonged in the kitchen, men on the battle field. Men were strong, they moved mountains, cleared forests, and weren't afraid of getting dirty. What did women do? They didn't move mountains, they'd rather sing with all the little woodland creatures, and cared more about their looks.

Taking out Tomoko quickly would have left the fight as it should be, between men. He almost had her too, but that class clown had to get in the way. It was then he saw movement in the corner of his eyes as he jumped to the next tree. He dove down into a bush at its base and looked out between its smaller leaves. There in the clearing that clown Iruka was crouched looking around nervously. Kenta smiled and licked his lips. So the fight between men would start early, no matter. Iruka was poorly built in his opinion. Thin and lanky with baby fat still cling to his body. His hair shined like that of a woman's and even from here, thanks to the wind, he could catch flora scented soap. Kenta could now hardly call him a man. He scoffed as he stood and strode confidently out of the vegetation. Iruka whipped around, his large doe eyes growing larger at the sight of him. Kenta smiled wickedly. Iruka would hardly be a match, two quick punches and that would be it. So confident in his victory he laughed and pointed at Iruka, who scowled at the display. "Oh please," Kenta laughed, "I'd rather fight the woman, then this little girl," he sneered at the end. "Why don't you just go home to mommy and let the big kids play?"

Iruka felt anger bubble in his chest. "Only a fool talks so noisily in battle," Iruka responded as he lunched him self forward. The mirth on Kenta's face turned to anger quickly. He easily side stepped Iruka's first punched but was forced to jump dodge as a volley of knives flew from the tree canopy above.

"What's this?" he growled, "Working with a woman, rather than fight like a man."

"If fighting like a man means I have to get myself killed," Iruka responded picking up several of the kunais and tossing them at the boy, "Then I'd rather fight like a little girl." Kenta pulled out a kunai of his own and deflected the in coming projectiles before tossing off a few of his own. Quickly Iruka rolled away to his left and onto his feet. He charged the hulking boy raising a kunai. They connected with a clang of metal. Iruka grunted feeling a tremor run down the length of his arm and to his spine. He found himself sliding backwards as Kenta shoved forward.

Suddenly Kenta went slack stepping left and adjusting to make Iruka slide to his right. A sharp knee to the gut had the weakling gasping in pain. Before he could finish the fight with an elbow to the back of the head, Iruka titled right out of his elbows path. "Not that easy," Kenta growled snagging the back of Iruka's shirt to yank him back. Iruka twisted and delivered a back handed punch with his right. Kenta laughed as the punch bounced harmlessly off his chest. Another sharp knee to Iruka's gut had the boy puking out his breakfast and stumbling backwards. This was it, Kenta thought, fight won. As he launched a quick jab his hand passed through air as Iruka ducked. He attempted to tackle Kenta, a desperate move to take him off his feet. Kenta took a step back, and that was it. A single step back as Iruka strained with all his might. Kenta laughed at the absurdity of Iruka trying to beat him in strength. He once again kneed Iruka this time catching him in the chest. Iruka reared back, Kenta wasted no time as he grabbed the front of Iruka's shirt and lifted him. He turned his back and used his hip to send Iruka airborne. Using all the strength he had Kenta sent Iruka flying clear across the clearing and into the small river on the other side. The boy landed with a splash.

* * *

Iruka sat up in the shallow water gasping for air. He clutched his middle as he grunted in pain. He's thoughts whirled. He was losing, he knew it. He wouldn't last at the rate he was going, another hit from Kenta and he'd be in the first cart back to the academy. Worst yet was that Tomoko would be joining him. He knew how hard she worked to prove herself and how much she had to put up with the boys in their class teasing her. If she could become an official ninja all her hard would have paid off. Yet if he kept going, he could get seriously hurt. Kenta wasn't pulling any punches, he meant to damage him. Kenta was doing all this to prove his _worth_ to their _sensei_.

Iruka looked up through his dripping bangs at the laughing boy. Punching Kenta was like trying to punch a rock. Suddenly the crazy old man's words came rushing back to Iruka. He looked down and raised his hand and watched with fascination as the water dribbled and seeped past the creaks between his fingers.

_It wears down rock and can carve out canyons, but never does it just push with force. It flows._

Iruka stood with new determination to test out his revelation. Kenta stopped laughing though the smirk never left his face. Iruka vowed he'd wipe that smirk clean. He stepped onto the river bank, he's eyes steely. From his left he noticed Tomoko making some of the final perpetrations to their plan. All he had to do was steer Kenta to the right spot. "Don't you ever learn?" Kenta chuckled as Iruka walked toward him.

"You're like a gorilla pounding its chest. Stupid and useless," Iruka replied with venom.

Again anger took over Kenta's face as he roared in outrage. He charged across the remaining distance. Quickly Iruka feinted right and ducked as Kenta tried to catch him with a last minute clothesline. Iruka continued to spin and twist out of Kenta's reach only dancing close enough to pepper him with a few cuts and useless punches. A sharp whistle bit through the air singling to Iruka that Tomoko had finished their trap. Just then sensing Iruka's moment of distraction, Kenta pulled back to release a powerful punch. Iruka put both his hands up and redirected Kenta's punch. As Iruka stepped to the left he raised his right foot catching Kenta's foot and threw him even more off balance. In a last ditch effort to catch his balance Kenta thrust his other leg forward into a pile of leaves.

A rope suddenly snapped up and yanked him forward into a painful split. Only the trap didn't end there, the rope pulled taut again and pulled him forward. Kenta let out a yell as he was pulled up and through several trees. He grunted in pain as he was painfully returned to the ground, setting off some explosion tags as he was again yanked to slide under several falling branches. His journey ended at the foot of their Jounin sensei, who was looking at the children in wonder. Kenta groaned. "Well now," their sensei begun, "That was fun to watch."

"So," Tomoko asked nervously, "Did we pass?"

"I don't see why not," the man replied cutting the rope from Kenta's ankle. "Now lets get you all looked at," He grunted heaving Kenta onto his back.

As they traveled through the village toward the hospital Tomoko fell in stride with Iruka. "Iruka," she started looking off to the side, "Th-thanks for helping me."

"No problem," Iruka replied, giving her a bright smile.

"I knew Kenta was strong," she continued was a frown, "But he's really more like a bull or a rock." She looked forward towered their sensei and Kenta. The boy was still draped across the broad man's back. "It was incredible the way you fought him in the end there," she looked back at Iruka with a smile.

Iruka blushed and looked down, "Yeah well I had some help with that."

"Help?" Tomoko asked with a curious title of her head. "What kind?"

"Well it was something someone told me," Iruka looked up with a soft smile, "A ninja needs to be like water as much as it is like shadow," he quoted.

Tomoko was quiet for a bit, her expression thoughtful. "I," she titled her head again, "Don't exactly know what that means."

"Neither did I," Iruka laughed, "But I think I get it now."

"Well then," She giggled with him, "You should make sure to thank that person for their help."

"Oh, I will," Iruka nodded, "When I see him again, I will." Iruka finished with a vow.

* * *

**Petague Killaboo**


	2. All New Meaning To Leaf Ninja

_**All New Meaning to Leaf Ninja**_

Market Street, the name was often spoken among house wives. This long winding road starched for several long blocks of the village. At one end of the market closer to the older and dirtier parts of Konoha are the specialty stalls and shops that ninja tended to frequent. At the other end closer to one of Konoha's towering gates are the travel merchants that bring with them foreign and sometimes strange looking goods. In between the two sides are the domestic sellers who peddled the typical wears.

Iruka, much like many ninja bachelors, found himself in quite the predicament.

_**He was out of food. **_

It wasn't his fault he reasoned while staring at his depressingly empty fridge. Being an active genin took a lot of his time. Over the last month and a half he'd been busy running D missions and training. Sometimes his Sensei would treat him, other times he'd be to tried to eat. The rare times he found time to raid his fridge were far and few between. When he found that he was down to one moldy apple and the last ramen cup, Iruka had to face facts. His fridge and shelves were not magical going to stock themselves. And unlike his teammates, he couldn't simply wait for his parents to buy more. So sucking up his pride and gritting his teeth he was forced to ask his Sensei for a day off. The man had given him that look, one of distain and irritation. Iruka had learned early on that his Sensei did not want to teach them, Iruka especially. The man only did because every jounin had to take at least one team on during their career. "You can take a day off if you want, but your teammates aren't," he'd been told coldly.

Iruka huffed slamming his fridge door closed. So he'd only be a day behind, and it wasn't like he was being taught anything amazing. He had pretty much learned must of his stuff on his own through various means; mostly from books, scrolls, and talking to other ninjas. The only thing of real value he was being taught was taijutsu. Well sort of. It was more his own style, but he was refining it by fighting with his teammates. Iruka paused at his door patting down his sides and checking for his wallet. With a tightening of his head band and a nod of his head, Iruka stepped out his apartment and made his way to Market Street.

He arrived just as the place began its full swing. Merchants called out their wears in loud booming voice, while people smothered the dirt covered street. Iruka paused in the mouth of one ally-way eyeing the churning bodies beyond. He hated shopping, it was an evil necessity in order to keep his belly full and his shinobi gear stocked. He mentally ran through his shopping list. Maybe if he hurried he could catch up with his team. With that thought he stepped out into the flow. After being jostled around, nearly run over, and shoved completely out of the way Iruka found himself nowhere closer to getting his task accomplished. He finally found himself breathing room on the far side of Market Street. Just down the road he could see the towering gates and knew he had gotten shoved off course, far off course. He sighed, there went his day plans. "What's a matter sunny?" came a call from his left. Iruka turned at the voice, "Get lost from your mama? I'm sure one of them ninja folk'll help ya find her."

"I'm not lost," Iruka snapped facing the man with the straw sticking out his mouth, "Just having a bad day."

"Havin' bad day there," the man parroted, "Well then come 'ere and let this old man give ya somethin'." Iruka stared at the sun baked man before dropping his gaze to the man's wooden cart. Now Iruka had heard the rumors about this part of the market and how some things they sold were just pure bizarre. He heard tells from drunken ninja about some of the stuff they'd eaten, and their descriptions of their food left him sometimes queasy. "Well don't just stand there buck-o, get on over 'ere." Iruka cursed his polite nature and carefully made his way forward watching the wiggling jellies that waved at him. "Now looky 'ere, ya be one of them ninja," The man whistled, "Ye a bit young ain't ya?"

"I am not," Iruka snapped straightening up as best he could.

"Well then, show this old man what a ninja is and have this," The man shoved one of the smaller jelly things at Iruka who stared at it.

"What is it?" Iruka asked allowing the old merchant to drop it into his hand. It was cold and sticky and there was something in the middle of it.

"If I told ya, ya wouldn't eat it. Now bottoms up." With one last deep breath Iruka downed the jelly. For something that looked wiggly, it was surprisingly hard and crunchy. The man watched him carefully as Iruka slowly chewed the odd sustenance. "So," he drawled.

"This is…" Iruka said around the jelly, "Really good!" he swallowed.

"Ain't it!" the man smiled proudly and puffed up his chest. "I'll tell ya what. I'll give ya six of these for 5 bucks."

Iruka blinked slightly taken aback by the man's sudden change to business. "Um.." he didn't really want to spend his money on the strange stuff. "Well I can't really buy perishables. Being a ninja and all, I'm away from home a lot and…" he trailed trying to come up with a plausible excuse.

The old man was having none of that, "None sense. This stuff here keeps like nothing else. Just put it in the fridge, kid, and it'll last for months."

"I need nutritious food," he tried again, "In order to keep up with my demanding line of work."

"This covers just about everything in the food pyramid," the man boasted loudly, drawing a few people's attention. "And if you don't think so," he started pointing to various other items. "These here will get ya everything ya need." He started listing off every single item and emphasizing their nutritional properties.

Iruka found himself running out of excuses fast. "I don't have a lot of money," he finally said.

"Surely your parents can help," the man said.

Iruka looked down, "No," he said softly, "They can't help anymore."

The man's smile fell as the meaning sunk in. He coughed and shifted uncomfortably and tried to ignore the several disapproving looks he was suddenly given. "Ah. Well," he stumbled.

"Good going, Philly!" another merchant called across from them, "Made the kid sad."

"Look kid," the man said glaring at the other, "You want food that's gonna be nutritional, keeps, and doesn't need a whole lot of preparation, right?" Iruka nodded trying to regain his composer. "Then this is what ya need. Most of this stuff doesn't need any preparation. It can be eaten completely raw. Plus this jelly here, can replace any kind of lost fluids and hydrate you."

"That they can," the other merchant, a woman, appeared next to them, "And those roots there, are perfect for restoring energy!" The woman smiled down at Iruka softly. She patted his shoulder, "They work better than them solider pills you lot are always taken," she continued.

"But the pills are especially made to regenerate chakra," Iruka replied looking at the curly and hairy root.

"As I understand it, chakra is only energy, right?" the man with the straw asked.

Iruka took a moment to think about that. He nodded, "Basically, yes." He didn't really want to share ninja secrets, plus it would take at least an hour to explain the whole chakra theory.

"Well this here gives ya all the energy ya need without the nasty side effects of drugs," Philly smiled.

Iruka gave him a distrustful look. "He is right," the woman jumped in eager to help.

"But.." Iruka tried to find some way out. He was feeling very cornered.

"You are forgetting the most important part!" a voice suddenly boomed. The scar on Iruka's nose started to tingle, giving him just enough warning to grab the woman merchant and leapt out of danger. He landed a few feet away before turning to see the Mad Man of Market Street standing where he used to be. The old merchant behind the cart was staring wide eyed at the massive man who was wielding some type of long, wide, thick leaf, with teeth that ran along the leaf's ends. It took a moment longer for Iruka to realize that it was an aloe leaf. It took another few moments of staring for Iruka to realize that the aloe leaf had also just cut through several of the stands shelves. The last encountered he had with the raving lunatic had been more than a little uncomfortable, even though he'd given Iruka a few hints to discovering his own taijutsu, and this encounter was promising to be the same. "They can be used as weapons!" he declared stepping back and pulling the leaf free.

"What," Iruka breathed in disbelief, "What is wrong with you? You could have hurt someone!"

"People are being hurt every day," the crazy man reasoned.

"Not buy food products!" Iruka retorted.

"There is where you are wrong!" The man suddenly snatched up some of the curly roots and sent them flying in Iruka's direction. Iruka grabbed the lady again and leapt away. He quickly placed her somewhere closer to her cart before rushing to stop the man. Some more roots impaled themselves into a wooden pole that was behind Iruka. He turned wide eyes on them. "Anything can be used as a weapon, especially food." The man fell on him from the sky, wielding the aloe leaf like it was a sword. Iruka attempted to block the man's attack. He was stun to see that the leaf remained intact as his kunai connected. The crowd parted quickly giving the dueling pair room.

Iruka had known the man had some type of training. He showed it quite quickly as he not only disarmed Iruka but stripped him of all his supply pouches effortlessly. Suddenly weaponless Iruka found himself back peddling and dodging to keep the man and his leafy sword at a distance. The man responded by grabbing whatever small fruit or vegetable he could grab and tossed them like shuriken or kunais. "Come on boy," the Nut-So hollered as an odd shape apple collided with the ground and put a dent in the dirt. Iruka felt his mouth drop, "What did I tell you? Anything can be turned into a weapon." Iruka's mind whirled, first trying to process the man's words, then wondering why the heck there wasn't another ninja here to stop this mayhem. Not only was Iruka endangered but so were all the bystanders standing there watching this spectacle. The final thought he had was on a more hysterical note: this was one messed up, if not deadly food fight!

"Kiddo," the merchant Philly cried tossing him an aloe leaf of his own, "Use it kid."

Iruka caught it and raised the leaf to block the incoming blow. He watched in dismay as the leaf was cut in half. "Come one kid, think!" the crazed man growled as Iruka rolled out of the way. Philly tossed him another leaf, really Iruka wished someone would toss him back his weapon pouch. Iruka took a few deep breaths trying to quiet his panicked thoughts. He slipped left as the bulky form of the man careened past. Iruka gasped realizing just then why the man's leaf was so strong. He was pouring chakra into it. It was so simple! Chakra was energy that could be transferred to other items! With this new found knowledge Iruka switched from defense to offensive.

The crowd cheered loudly as he connected with the man's makeshift sword and his own leaf held. It was decidedly weird not hearing the clang of metal as they met several times. A flash of chakra broke him from his thoughts as the man's leaf sliced through his, taking Iruka completely by surprise. The man grabbed him roughly with a steel grip on his left shoulder. "Anything can be used as a weapon," the man hissed at him franticly, "Nothing is defenseless. Everything is dangerous. For them," he jerked a head at the wide eyed crowd, "And you, little ninja. Remember that." He shoved Iruka away, and just as quickly as he appeared he was gone. Finally some of his fellow shinobi appeared to stop the fight only to realize they had arrived too late. After an hour of questioning from the shinobi, Iruka found himself suddenly with several bags of strange foods from the many vendors grateful to him for stopping the mad man. Philly gave him at least three bags of the odd jellies and roots, along with a list describing what every new food product could do and how best to prepare them, before sending him on his way.

* * *

He wasn't sure what had happen, or what had lead up to he and his teammates running for their lives. They crashed very unninja like through the trees in absolute desperation to out run the crazy woman jounin. Sounds of distant fighting reminded them of the fact their Sensei was busy fighting the rest of the woman's companions and would be unable to help them. Iruka dropped from his branch just as it decided to burst into flames and barely manage to dodge the woman's claws. He threw a few kunai and shuriken hoping to buy time so he could reach his next landing point. The woman predictably knocked the hastily thrown projectiles out of the air and lunged after him. Thankfully Kenta, and all his brute force glory, barreled into the woman, sending her careening to the forest floor and away from Iruka. The two of them wasted no time as they rushed to catch up with Tomoko.

The scar on Iruka's nose started to tingle, the way it always did when there was danger of some kind. Iruka pushed chakra into his legs as he planted his feet solidly into the tree branch and grabbed his teammates by the backs of their shirts. He yanked them all to a jarring stop at the same time their next landing point exploded. The force from the explosion sent them tumbling through the air. Iruka crashed painfully through several branches before coming to a painful stop on a thin one. He hung by his midsection arms and feet dangling in the air. Kenta and Tomoko landed with a loud crunchy thump below him. One of the woman's companions arrived on the scene. Beady eyes drank in the sight of Iruka's daze teammates hungrily. The woman joined the man shortly after, a nasty gash on her forehead. "Leave the big one to me," She snarled glaring down at Kenta who was struggling into a defensive stance. Tomoko still hadn't moved. She laid face down in the leaves body contorted over raised roots. For a frightening moment Iruka thought she was dead until she gave a low moan.

"You know how I like mine soft," the beady eyed man licked his lips. Iruka pulled himself into a crouch. He fished around in his pockets and was dismayed to find them all empty. He hadn't thought he'd used that many during their escape. How was he to help his teammates if he had no weapons? The new assailant launched himself toward Kenta and Tomoko followed closely by the clawed woman. Iruka threw caution to the wind. His teammates needed him with or without weapons. He managed to time his dive just right so that he hit both their attackers, hitting the man a little more than the woman. They crashed into the ground with him scrambling to get back on his feet.

Kenta gave him a wide eyed look. An entire conversation held between them right then. They were out matched and in deep trouble. "Take Tomoko," Iruka yelled, "Get the scroll back to the village while I buy time."

"No," Kenta argued. Out of all of them Kenta was the strongest. He would most likely stand a longer chance than Iruka. But he was also the fastest and could get the scroll back to the village quicker than Iruka.

"You're faster and I can't carry Tomoko," Iruka reasoned watching in dismay as their enemies disentangled themselves from each other quickly. "GO!" Kenta hesitated for a moment longer before hulling Tomoko over one shoulder and taking off.

The woman roared in anger and shoved her partner off as she rounded on Iruka. Iruka was already dashing toward the two and readying to kick the woman before she could fully get up. The ground shook suddenly taking him off his feet as the earth rose up around him. He forced his feet and legs back over his head so he rolled awkwardly backwards and out of the Justus' path. The woman was suddenly there planting a foot in his stomach. He flew backwards several yards before crashing into another tree. He landed in a crumbled heap at the trees base. The man, following closely behind the woman's vicious attack, was nearly on top of him. Iruka fisted his hands into the dirt and threw it upwards in pure desperation. He had used this move tons of times before to escape bullies. Leaves and dirt blasted in an arch toward the man's snarled face. He howled as dirt entered his eyes. The woman shoved her partner out of the way and brought down a mighty clawed hand. Iruka flailed around trying to find something to protect him. Maybe there was a stray kunai or something. His right hand wrapped around something cold and hard. He brought it up in time to meet the woman's claws.

It was ridiculous that now would be the time the Crazy Man's words would flow into his head and make sense.

_**Anything can be used as a weapon**_

Iruka gripped the branch in his hands tighter and channeled chakra to strengthen it. The woman pressed down, face twisted into a happy predatory smile.

_**Nothing is defenseless. Everything is dangerous**_

Everything, he thought, picking two leaves into his other hand. He tossed them and watched in fascinated horror as one leaf pierced the woman's right eye and the other embed itself in her neck. Neither was a killing blow but damn if it didn't hurt. The woman jerked away screeching in furry and cupping her right eye. Iruka took the moment. He scrambled to his feet and dashed into the trees. The man was looking at the woman with wide eyes, clearly trying to process what had happened? "I'll get you!" the woman screamed giving chase. Iruka decided then, as he let loose a volley of chakra enhanced leaves, he'd give a whole new meaning to leaf ninja.

* * *

Yuudai dashed through the trees, senses stretched to their max as he searched for his missing students. His opponents hadn't been too difficult, but he was worried about the two that had gotten past, the kids would have been sorely outmatched if the two had caught up with them. The two explosions he'd heard while finishing off his last enemy hadn't given him much hope of finding his team intact.

He'd been resistant to taking on a team of children for this very reason. Out in the field anything could happen. A C-rank mission could jump instantly to an A-rank. A group of bandits could turn into a group of rouge ninja, which pretty much summed how their mission was going now. Barely trained wanna-nins wouldn't be able to cope with that type of change. He gritted his teeth in frustration. It is one thing to lose teammates because of bad information, another to lose them because they were ill-equipped.

A flash to his right caught his attention roughly jerking him from his darkening thoughts. He leapt at it, kunai drawn and at the ready. Suddenly he found himself bending awkwardly to avoid Kenta as he rushed past. Yuudai twisted and gave chase. "Kenta," he barked falling into step with the stocky boy. Tomoko was thrown haphazardly over one wide shoulder. Kenta turned startled eyes on him. "Report."

"Two jounin level nins. One woman, one male. Iruka stayed behind trying to by us time to escape," Kenta answered his voice wobbly with emotion.

"Scroll?"

"Still with Tomoko," Kenta answered shifting to show her better. The girl hung unconscious, head thumping against the large back of the boy with each landing. "Not sure if she is hurt or not. We fell pretty far."

Yuudai nodded, "Continue, I'll go back for Iruka," he instructed already turning to go back the way Kenta had come.

"Yes sir!" Kenta's tense features relaxed slightly with relief. "Please bring him back Sensei. I owe him." Yuudai bit back a scorching retort about teammates always dying to save others and forever owning fallen teammates, the kids would learn that in time. Instead he nodded and set off following the trail Kenta had left in his mad dash. He'd have to scold the children later about making easy trails to follow even if they were being chased by nins stronger than them.

Two miles later he came to a stuttering halt and blinked at the scene before him. Leaves, brown and green leaves, were embedded in thick tree bark. A man jumped around the clearing hissing wildly as he dodged a barrage of twigs and leaves tossed like kunai and shuriken. A woman with claws for hands dropped from the canopy and clashed with a small figure in mid-air. The small figured turned out to be his last student who was wielding a long branch as if it were a katana. It held against the woman's sharp claws. She roared in outrage before planting her foot in Iruka's gut and sent to kid flying heels over head into the base of a tree. Yuudai shook himself and sprang into action. He caught the man completely off guard and in two quick moves the man was falling from the trees as dead as the dry foliage beneath. Spitting and hissing the woman was on him in seconds. Yuudai felt his eyebrows rise in surprise. A leaf was sticking out of the woman's right eye socket, fluids coated the entire side of her face. Upon closer inspection he noted several more leaves and twigs sticking out of her in odd angles, none hitting anything lethal but definitely not from lack of trying on his student's behalf. Yuudai huffed out an airy laugh both amused and in awe at what his student had accomplished and the state of the woman who was clearly rattled. Just as quickly as he had taken out the man he finished off the woman. It wasn't difficult, Iruka had already done most of the work.

Thinking of Iruka reminded him that his student had collided rather hard against the tree earlier. He picked his way across the torn up clearing, marveling at the fact his student had manage to hold his own against to earth users. He found Iruka cradled between the raised roots at the base of the wide tree. He knelt down running his eyes over the unconscious boy. Iruka probably wouldn't have last much longer against the pair. The battered boy jerked awake pressing himself into the tree, his eyes rolled around wildly until they focused on Yuudai. Yuudai sat back on his heels and waited for the boy to calm down. "Sensei?" his voice was soft, "The jounins?"

"Taken care of," Yuudai answered, "You did well in keeping them contained. However," he felt his lips kick up into an amused smile. "I think you took the whole leaf ninja thing a little too far."

Iruka blinked, then smiled proudly. "Everything is dangerous, nothing is defenseless especially in a shinobi's hand."

Yuudai nodded and pulled Iruka up into his arms. He could feel the weak pulses of the boy's chakra and knew he'd never make it back to the village. Yuudai smiled as he leapt into the trees ignoring Iruka's protest, "You are going to have to teach that trick to your teammates," and while the kid taught his teammates, Yuudai was going to eavesdrop just a little. Can't have kids knowing how impress he is just yet.

* * *

**WHAHAHAHAHAH! I live!**

**Apologies I have been working very hard the last two years on other things. Been trying to finish college and what not, you know like writing a book.**

**I'd like to think I have matured a little as a writer as well, but I'll leave you all to be the judge of that.**

**ALSO, if I am able, I'm going to finish this before I begin the sequel to Forgotten as this fic will tie into the over all story.  
**

**So for now my lovely little readers. Enjoy!**

**Petague Killaboo**


	3. The Right Way or The Wrong Way

_**The Right Way or The Wrong Way**_

There was darkness there. Deep inside him. Heavy and cold and toxic. Slowly seeping into every nook and cranny. He had tried to ignore it, tried to push it to the back of his mind. But there was no denying any longer.

He had lost his way.

Was it after the first kill? Or before the tenth?

He remembered in school how they taught him killing was right. How it was the only way to get some jobs done. He had learned the arts, like his parents, and been praised by his teachers and fellow nins for taking out targets quickly and efficiently.

But what didn't make sense was the fear everyone else gave him. His old civilian friends would quickly cross to the other side of the street and tried not to look at him. His neighbors would duck their heads, and some would even go so far as to hide their younger children. He could hear their quiet fear filled whispers following him thanks to his ninja hearing,

"_I heard he killed someone last week."_

"_He's done it again. Four people all on his own."_

"_He's dangerous to be around."_

How could that be right, he often thought, how could it be wrong when mission after mission he protected these people. Instead of whispering behind his back, they should be thanking him. Like Kenta and Tomoko thanked him on this last mission. Like his master and other teammates thanked him for being quick to set traps. But his neighbors and old friends never gave a word or gesture of _thank yous_.

"_Did you hear about the little boy he murdered? Had to be no more than eight."_

His eighteenth kill. The young boy had been strapped head to toe in explosive tags. His short legs a blur as he raced full tilt at Iruka's team of twelve. Iruka had spotted the child first. He had called a warning to both the boy and his team.

The kid didn't stop. His eyes set in a determined scowl. "Death to ninjas!" The tag covered child had yelled. Iruka could tell with the amount of explosives tapped across the child that the team wouldn't get far. Iruka had launched a kunai, had watched as it found a new home right in the boy's throat just beneath the chin, had watched the child's eyes go wide before dimming and dropping. His body slid across the dirt road, the smoke from the many tags bellowing all at once, and Iruka had fled. All of Iruka's teammates jumped into the trees desperate to escape. The force of the explosion sent him crashing out of his tree along with several others of his team. Debris kicked up and became mini projectiles. The explosive fires set the trees and surrounding area on fire. The child's death had given them time enough to run, to escape the worst of the blast.

"_I can't believe it. How could you kill an innocent child like that."_

The boy had been part of a plot against Konoha. A ragtag bunch of rouges had taken over a village and brainwashed the populace into believing that all ninja were evil. Sure, it wasn't exactly the child's fault for thinking such wrongs. But he had been the one to cover himself in exploding tags, he had been the one to charge after Iruka and his team. And if the child should have succeeded, then more children would strap themselves up, more ninja would have died, and Konoha and her many people would have found these exploding children on their door steps.

How was it wrong to kill that child? How was it wrong to kill anyone daring to hurt his home? He was confused and worst yet, he was continuously reliving each kill over and over again.

_The boy_

_The four men_

_The angry family seeking vengeance_

_And all the others before that. _

Here he was nearly fourteen, barely a full year out of the academy which now seemed like ages ago. Lost and confused with abstract pictures of red, gray, and green flashing behind his eyes every time he blinked. Every detail of every mission etched firmly in his mind.

Iruka sat on the railing of the bridge staring at his hands, his feet dangling above the water, and his distant reflection waving at him from the rippling water below. He blinked.

_Blood on his kunai._

He blinked.

_Dead eyes staring up at him._

He blinked.

_A little boy falling, spray of blood arching with his fall_

He blinked.

_A woman with angry blue eyes. Round face pulled back in a snarl of yellowing teeth._

Iruka felt his hands shake, the kunai wobbled dangerously in his grasp threatening to fall into the river below. He took a shaky breath and exhaled slowly, trying to calm his rattled nerves and dispel the images. He blinked.

_A bloody reflection of him standing in a river watching as the woman's body drifted downstream._

"Why won't they stop?" he whispered griping the kunai tighter. He brought his hand to his head band, the cool metal seeping into his warm hands. His shoulders hunched and his eyes screwed tight. Several different battles rewind and fast forward behind his eye lids. "Stop," he choked back a sob.

"Stop what kiddo," a low voice called from below and to the left.

Iurka's eyes flew open, his head jerked up, body jumping two feet off the railing before settling back into crouch. His kunai held at the ready and senses stretch searching for any danger. "Easy there kiddo or you'll fall off. And ninja aren't supposed to fall so easily." Iruka looked down over the railing to see the Crazy man from Market Street staring up at him. The man's large green eyes twinkling with amusement and shaggy bread smile. Iruka was in no mood to deal with the man today. Sure the crazy beggar had helped him on a number of occasions, but the man had always done it in extreme ways. Not today, Iruka decided as he began to climb down off the railing, he could bother some other kid today.

"Wait there," called the man as Iruka made his way off the bridge. "Hey kid!" Iruka ignored him as he made his way to the training fields. A large hand grabbed his left shoulder and spun him around. Iruka reacted violently. His kunai, still out, whistled through the air slicing at whoever dared to touch him. A poof of smoke filled his vision as he kept spinning, a full 360 later and Iruka found his kunai impaled on a long plank of wood. "Are you done?" came the unimpressed baritone of the man.

"Leave me alone. I'm not in the mood to be entertaining you today," Iruka snapped.

The man snorted, "No one is ever in the mood to entertain me," the man huffed crossing his massive arms over his broad chest, "Doesn't stop me now does it."

Iruka glare and made to turn, "Do you want to talk about it?" Iruka paused and looked back, surprised written all over his face. "I'm not crazy enough not to notice when someone is in trouble."

"I'm not in trouble," Iruka replied, "I'm going to go train."

"You've been sitting on my bridge for three hours," the man gave him a bland look.

Iruka started at that. He hadn't been aware of the time. Now that he noticed, the sun was much higher in the sky. "I was planning out my day," he replied unconvincingly. The man snorted again clearly not buying the excuse either. "What does it matter to you what I do?" Iruka snapped pointing his kunai at the man. "And that bridge doesn't belong to you. So I can sit on it for however long I want."

"I live under the bridge, there for the bridge is mine," the man replied easily.

"Oh, so if I live under that tree over there," Iruka pointed to a tree just beside the dirt road, "That makes the tree mine."

"Of course not," the man laughed, "That tree already belongs to the squirrel family."

Iruka stared at the man in disbelief. "That is not your bridge. It was built by the people of Konoha, there for it belongs to the people."

"Your apartment was built by the people of Konoha. Does your apartment belong to them too?"

"No! I'm paying for that. You're not paying to live under the bridge!"

"I am too paying to live under the bridge."

"What?!"

"I pay the squirrel family to live there. They use to live their you see, but managed to negotiate.."

"You're nuts!" Iruka shouted throwing his hands up in defeat.

"No, that's what I pay to live here. Sixteen nuts every two weeks." The man corrected with a happy smile, "We chose every two weeks because ninjas die so often."

"You're not a ninja!"

"I am too."

"I don't see any identification," Iruka tapped his head band to make his point. The man pulled up his torn sleeve to revile a worn and tattered head band tied tightly over his massive right bicep. Iruka openly gawked. His brain completely short circuiting. "But," Iruka tried to reason. "But you like. You know."

"I've been forcefully retired," the man gave the flustered boy a wan smile, "Job gets to be a little too much sometimes. Even a retired ninja is still a ninja"

"But you're crazy!"

"I'm not crazy," the man frowned, "There is trouble in the world. All I'm trying to do is enlighten the populace. Not my fault they don't understand. Not like you boy." He beamed. "You get what I'm saying. I've heard the stories. Using your environment as a weapon. That's what ninja, SHINOBI, are supposed to do."

"And killing," Iruka's whispered, ducking his head. "Shinobi are supposed to kill."

"Protect, you mean."

"No." His voice wobbled on the single syllable.

The man stared at him for several long moments. He watched the boy's shoulders droop, his arms hang limply, and hands barely holding onto the kunai. "Come here boy, Let's talk somewhere more comfortable." The man moved away making his way to the slopping bank and under the bridge. Iruka hesitated for a moment before following. He wasn't sure what was about to happen, or what wisdom he was about to have thrown at him, but right now anything was better than being alone.

* * *

The shade under the bridge was much cooler then the shade of the trees beyond the bank. Iruka stood at one opening taking in the camp sight around him. It was modest, if there was such a word as modest for a beggar camp. There were several tin sheets and blankets propped up to make a small hut which was set back against the supporting wall of the bridge. A knee high fire barrel sat just a little ways off with several chairs positioned around it. A small brass tea kettle hung over the fire, light mist making its way out of the curved spout. The man busily made his way back and forth between several boxes, mumbling loudly to himself. Iruka approached cautiously eyeing the many pots, vases, pans, boxes, and other assorted jun… stuff … littered around the place. "Have a seat boy." The man waved in the general direction of the fire and chairs, "Tea will be ready in a moment."

"My name is Iruka," Iruka corrected.

"Hmm, let's see my name is," The burly man stood up from the box he had been looking in and tapped a finger against his chin thoughtfully. "Well, you know, I've had so many names I've forgotten my own."

For the second time Iruka found himself flabbergasted, "You don't remember your name."

"Job hazard, part of the reason why I was retired," the man carried on as if it wasn't a big deal to forget one's own name.

"But, your name was especially chosen by your family. It's who you are," Iruka reasoned. When he was younger he had hated his name. Kids continuously made fun of him. It was after his parents' death that he truly came to love his name. It was the only thing that he had left, the one thing that couldn't be taken from him, and the only thing that reminded him of his parents.

"I willingly sacrificed it," the man replied completely unperturbed. "If it meant protecting my home and loved ones, then losing my name is not a big deal."

"Then what am I going to call you?" Iruka frowned, "I can't just call you crazy man or Nut-so, all day. Especially if you plan to keep on bothering me."

"I'm not bothering you," the man corrected as he pulled out two plates from a box, "I'm teaching you."

Iruka gave him a skeptical look. "You've attacked me every single time."

"Have I?"

"Three vendors, two alley ways, once at the gate when I was getting back from a mission, twice during my training sessions," Iruka ticked off each occurrence on his fingertips.

"You'd think your sensei would have stopped me," the man laughed, finding a bag of biscuits.

"Three D-rank missions," Iruka continued.

"You weren't enjoying looking for that cat anyways."

"No, I didn't enjoy chasing _you_ down. What made you think running off with the cat was a good idea?"

"Do you continue to leap in predicable patterns like everyone else? Branch to Branch, branch to ground."

Iruka thought about it. "No I don't," he admitted.

"I learned how to do that while I was chasing monkeys. If you want to catch a monkey you got to swing like a monkey. And if you swing like a monkey then you're harder to hit during a fight. Ninja life lessons 101." The man found two chipped cups, by now the kettle was beginning to lightly whistle. "Be harder to predict because the predicable die young."

The man made his way over to Iruka and handed him the two plates full of biscuits. He set the cups down on a small table and tended to the kettle. "I wasn't attacking, I was teaching you. And the best way to teach sometimes, is by action. You caught on quickly." The man gave him a proud smile. "You're turning out to be a great shinobi, if the stories I hear are correct."

Iruka looked away, the dark whispers of the villagers buzzing in his ears. "Hmm, how about you call me Satoshi. I always liked that name." Iruka gave him a bland look. "Or you can call me Toshi. Oh! Or Toe, that would be funny."

"You want me to call you Toe?" Iruka asked incredulously.

"Why not? It's either Satoshi or Toe."

"Satoshi," Iruka relented. The man, now named Satoshi, beamed as he poured some tea. "So why me?" Iruka asked after some time had passed and the two had settled into their seats. Iruka stared intently at the steam curling its way past the cup's rim and drifting off on the gentle wind.

"I could tell you are going to be a great shinobi," Satoshi smiled at him proudly.

"My teammates are better. Heck, there are better ninja then me you could," Iruka paused rolling the cup in his hands, "Teach."

"There are," Satoshi agreed, "Like the one with white hair and a mask. And believe me. I've tried with a few of them. But no one listened. Not like you. That's important you know. For a shinobi. To listen no matter what, who, or where the words are coming from." He took a sip and a bit of his biscuit before continuing, "To listen is the mark of a good shinobi."

"And the great?" Iruka prompted, sipping at his own tea.

"Retain and understand the information." Satoshi set his cup down on the small table set between them. He gazed thoughtfully into the licking flames that teased themselves over the barrel's edge. "A great shinobi takes in everything, no matter how insignificant be it Justus or taijustsu, or simply knowing a person's favorite brand of tea. He can catalog the information, and stores it away into their mind. They can recall that information at any time be it in the heat of battle or giving a report, or even just to entertain guest."

"That's not what I've been taught," Iruka broke through the man's beginning rambles.

Satoshi hummed lightly, "What have you been taught?"

"To kill," the statement was said on a whisper so soft it was nearly stolen by the crackling fire. "That a great shinobi is measured by the amount of people he kills, not by the amount of information he carries."

"That's wrong!" Satoshi quickly snapped. His face pulled tight into a mighty frown and eyes narrowed at Iruka.

"What's wrong?" Iruka snapped back, jumping to his feet and dropping the cup. It shattered on the ground, amber liquid splashing everywhere. "What's wrong? Killing? Is it killing?" He's voice raised in pitch, "Because they say it is. You know. The villagers say it's wrong," he flung an arm out pointing wildly at the buildings and people beyond the bridge's cover. "But my teachers and my teammates, they all say it's right." He pointed at his chest, "They thank me." He licked his lips, he could feel is eyes wide as he stared confused and pledging for answers from Satoshi. "So who's wrong? Them, the villagers, or us, the shinobi?"

Satoshi didn't answer. Instead he continued to stare, almost blankly at Iruka. His eyes distant and body relaxed back into his chair. Iruka pressed on regardless. Everything pent up inside him spilled out of him, splashing to the ground and joining the spilt tea at his feet. "It doesn't make sense. I mean, killing is the only way to protect them. It's the only way to keep this village safe. I don' like killing. I don't like ending lives of children or grieving mothers. I don't like it and I wish I could change it. I wish," there was burning behind his eyes, his vision grew blurry as his voice begun to wobble, "I wish I didn't have to keep seeing them. Over and over." He choked back a sob and rubbed his arms across his eyes.

"I asked Kenta once, how he felt after killing someone. He said it didn't matter what he felt. That he was protecting the village. I even asked Tomoko and she said the same thing. Sensei praised them. Said 'That was the mark of Great Shinobis'." Iruka sniffed, "I asked if they remember their kills, like I do. And you know what. They don't. Just the first one. Sensei says you never forget your first one. But I remember all of them. Every last one of them!" Tears broke free then. "Every time I blink, or close my eyes just for a moment, I see them. As clear as I see you." Iruka swallowed trying to clear his voice. He sunk to his knees, uncaring of the spilt tea seeping into his pants legs. He wrapped his arms around himself as if that would hold him together. "They told me killing is right. Killing is the only way to do our jobs. But the villagers don't agree. They fear me, my neighbors and old friends. And," a broken sob interrupted his next few words. "And I'm afraid. Afraid of what I can do. And confused. I can't understand what's right any more. Killing is right, killing is wrong. It doesn't make sense and no one I asked has had the right answer."

"What is the right answer?" Satoshi asked, his voice completely void of any emotion.

"I don't know," Iruka whispered.

"You must know, other words you wouldn't keep asking. You wouldn't be unsatisfied with everyone's answer."

"I don't know," Iruka said stronger.

"Is killing wrong?"

"I don't know."

"Is killing right?"

"I don't know," Iruka's voice grew in volume.

"Do you enjoy killing?" Satoshi asked standing up from his chair. His hulking form towered over Iruka's smaller bent form.

"No."

"Do you hate killing?"

"Yes."

"Then that's right."

"I don't know."

"You don't know if it's right for you to hate killing?" Satoshi asked the barest hint of disbelief in his otherwise emotionless voice.

"I don't know," Iruka replied.

"Then what do you want to know?" Satoshi growled.

"I DON'T KNOW!" Iruka cried. "God damn it, I don't know."

Suddenly Iruka found himself wrenched from his knelt position to dangling in the air by his arms. Satoshi large hands wrapped firmly around his biceps as he brought Iruka to face level. They had ended many of their '_lessons'_ in this manner. Satoshi deep forest green eyes bore into Iruka's startled tear stain browns. Slowly the man sat him back onto his feet and knelt down until he was eye level with Iruka. "There is no real right and wrong out there beyond our walls. It's kill or be killed, you or them. Not, you, them, and the village. You're a cog in the wheel of the great power house that is our nation. An easy gear that can be replaced again and again so long as there are people to train," Satoshi grip tightened. "The real wrong, the only wrong they taught you, that everyone believes, is that killing is the only way. It's not. You can't kill without knowledge. You can't lead mission, or create missions without information. Nothing can be done without information, without knowledge. It really is power Iruka." The man breathed, "Frightening power, more so than the ability to kill. Just think, you can cripple a nation by knowing what brand of tea a lord drink, where his servants get it from, what time he takes the tea, and who serves the tea."

Satoshi stood up and turned his back on Iruka. He ran shaking hands through his matted hair uncaring when they snagged in terrible knots. He walked a ways from the fire, then veered to the river and stared down into the currents. "Information comes from everywhere. Food vendors, house wives, even little children. A wise man will take it all in. Will sort through the unneeded bits. And find the hidden gems." He turned back to look at Iruka, "There are few that have that kind of mind, Iruka. Those minds are the ones that never forget. That remember every detail no matter how small, or painful. A mind like yours." He looked at Iruka meaningfully. "Good shinobis envy minds like yours. They crave them. And what's more. Fears them."

Satoshi drew his shoulders back and stuck out his chest. His head tipped back as he looked down his slightly crooked nose. "What's right, what's wrong. Is it killing, or running. Forget all of that. It isn't important. Those are just pawns that anyone can move. You want the queen, Iruka. You want the pieces that can move anywhere, that can take anything. You want the information and the knowledge of how to use that info, because that will tell you _all that you need_. That will tell you who's worth killing, who isn't. What's important, and what isn't. And I can teach you that." Satoshi walked toward Iruka with carefully measured strides, "I can teach you so that you," he poked Iruka in the chest causing him to stumble back, "Can decided what is right and what is wrong. But you have to let me teach you. And it won't be the way I've been doing it. No sneak attacks, that was all fun and games. This will be the real stuff." Satoshi stepped back waiting expectantly for Iruka's answer.

Iruka's mind became a whirled wind in an instant. "Will I have to leave my team?"

"Not if you don't want to. But it will be hard to train with them and with me."

"Will I have to kill often?"

"Killing is part of our job, but you'll be able to determine who to and not to kill. And you won't always be right. Let me make that clear. You are not god, you will not become omnipotent. But you will be better at it than others."

Iruka looked down at his wet pant legs. He bit his lower lip in thought. "Will I end up like you?" he whispered looking up through his eye lashes at the tall muscular man.

Satoshi's eyes widen for a moment, before softening into a sad look. "I made some choices that landed me here. You might not make the same. In truth, I don't know."

Iruka nodded slowly. He closed his eyes willing the images behind them to stop as he took a deep breath. He reached out taking hold of the torn frayed shirt of Satoshi. He looked up with determined eyes. "I want to decide for myself, what's right and what's wrong."

For the first time since he had meet Satoshi, the man gave him a truly happy smile. "Well, we should begin."

* * *

The inn room wasn't very big. It hardly held the fifteen people crammed into the room. Tomoko found herself embarrassingly sitting in her teammate's lap. Kenta didn't seem to like the idea of it any more than her. She wasn't the only one though. A couple of the older female nins had to sit on other peoples laps, though they got to set on each other's rather than a man's. She would have hung from the ceiling instead but they were deep in enemy territory. Any unfamiliar chakra signature would give their team away to the enemy shinobi.

"The contact should be here soon," a scruffy man grunted from his corner of the room. A massive dog sat between his legs.

"I don't see why we have to wait. We got all the information we need to make our move," One of the women protested from her perch on another woman's knee.

"I agree," The woman acting as the other's seat grunted. She was a very large woman. Nice and plumb with swirls on her checks. "And why this room?"

"This is where our contact has been staying," Yuudai-sensei answered.

"Do we even know the contacts name?" A man opposite of Tomoko piped in a nasally voice.

"His name is Colman," Yuudai-sensei answered. He was designated team lead and therefor decided whether or not to wait. They had already been in the room for more than three hours. Another hour more and Tomoko wasn't going to be held reliable for her actions. The itch to move was becoming too great. She could see several others were sharing in her thoughts. Mutiny was not known to happen often on missions but…

Three rapid taps followed by two soft pounds broke through Tomoko's buzzing thoughts. Yuudai-sensei made his way across the room to the door and returned the knocks in the same manner. The door slid open as soon as Yuudai-sensei stepped back allowing their contact to step through. It was a young boy, probably no older than her or Kenta. "Colman?" Yuudai-sensei asked. The boy nodded before stepping entirely into the room and slide the door shut behind him.

Colman walked to the center of the room and looked around at the nins stuffed like sardines in his small shoe box size apartment. The boy pushed some long blond bangs from his green eyes and gave a smile with missing front teeth at the group. "One sec," Colman grin before planting a hand on the floor. Everyone tensed as several symbols flared to life.

"It's a trap!" One of the other students yelled launching himself at Colman. Colman turned quickly catching the boy's attack and daftly pushed it away from him as he spun quickly around the kid. Tomoko knew that move. She'd been on the receiving end of it hundreds of times.

"Iruka?" Kenta voiced her thoughts sounding just as surprised as she felt. It had been nearly a year since they'd last seen their teammate. Or ex-teammate. It was believed Iruka had cracked under the pressure of his last mission. Apparently killing four men and a young boy had been too much for him. Tomoko looked to her sensei who looked just as surprised as his team. Colman turned to face them with a confused look before understanding dawned on his face.

A puff of smoke later and there was their old teammate. "Sorry, should have warned you about the concealing seal I've set up," Iruka bowed to the group at large.

"The enemy," Dog man in the corner frowned, nervously looking out the window next to him.

"Oh, this is one of their concealing seals. It's basic so any one in this village can use it. It won't draw suspicion," Iruka answered.

"How can you be so sure?" Yuudai-sensei snipped.

"Because a _friend_ taught it to me when I complained about my neighbors being too loud in their love making," Iruka answered flatly. Several of the student's like Tomoko and Kenta blushed at the thought.

"You're Colman?" The plump woman asked eyeing Iruka.

"Umino Iruka, Information Specialist of Konohagakure. I was a signed three weeks ago to gather information of a possible attack against Konoha from this village," Iruka stated slipping into a more official voice. "Inoshishi village has a link to Kusagakure and often employees their nin. However in recent years they have begun to create their own ninja, it is this group that maybe attacking Konoha."

"Yes, we know all that already, _boy_," one of the others snarled. "This is a waste of time. We should have attacked."

"If you had attacked, you would have started a large scale war," Iruka deadpan back to the large man.

"When aren't we ever risking war? Hell sneezing in the wrong country can be a capital offense," the man retorted standing from his small stool. Iruka did not at all seem intimidated by the man's size.

"Not with Kusa," Iruka informed the man taking on entirely unimpressed look. "If you'll sit and let me deliver my report."

"When did we elect this child to be team lead?" One of the older women huffed at Yuudai-sensei.

"Unless you have anything really ground breaking Umino. I suggest you suite up and prepare to move out," Yuudai-sensei drawled.

Tomoko looked between Iruka and everyone else. All the students looked at their respective senseis then back at Iruka who looked completely unruffled. Iruka gave a mighty sigh and caught Tomoko's eyes with a wan smile and small nod. "You'd be starting a war with Kumogakure, who have been helping this village try to gain its independence from Kusa."

A hush mummer ran through the room, the news far more shocking then they had excepted. Iruka pressed on assured that he had all of their attention, "The deal was struck well under the table. Even Kusa is unaware of who this village has aligned with, though they are starting to get a clue. Kumo has wanted this village mostly because of its strategic location in this particular valley. It's barely a stone throw away from our boarders. But it doesn't stop there." Iruka moved to a shelf near Dog man and his growling hound. Iruka smiled disarmingly and raised his hands to show he meant no harm. After he retrieved several scrolls and passed a few out, he rolled one large world map out in the center of the room.

"Kumo knows Konoha is posed to attack, in fact they are banking on it. The problem for us is that Inoshishi village is still part of Kusa who would have no choice but to protect its boarder. When the fight breaks out, Kumo is going to approach through here," Iruka pointed at a river running from Earth country into Grass. "Attack Kusa which is already weak from internal conflict among two different clans, and take both Kusa, this village and weaken our already depleted troops."

"And how did you come across all this, in only three weeks?" Yuudai-sensei asked skeptically.

"I can't go through all the details right now," Iruka replied apologetically, "I'll put it all in my report, I promise. What I can tell you is that many of the villagers are not happy with their shinobi's movements. They had hoped to gain more prosperity and a better position with the Daimio of this region."

Yuudai-sensei nodded taking in everything Iruka said and rereading the several scrolls that had been passed to him. He sighed heavily, "What do you purpose?"

"Are you serious?!" Several of their teammate yelled in outrage.

"Have any of you ever worked with an Information Specialist?" Yuudai-sensei asked. Several of the older nins shook their heads. "I'm not surprised there aren't many of them left and most remain in the village. When an Information Specialist is in the field regardless of their rank or ranks of teammates, they have full control over a mission. I am not happy about it either," Yuudai-Sensei snapped before Dog man and Plump woman could protest. "That's how it is. Now if you'll please, Iruka, your suggestions."

Iruka nodded firmly, looking directly at Yuudai-Sensei. "Inform, Kusagakure about the alliance between Kumo and this village's nins. Let them clean up their own mess. Konoha is still recovering from both the last war and the demon attack. We can probably provide support but won't be able to sustain a full scale war."

"Agreed," Yuudai-sensei straighten giving the gathered a firm look that said his decision was not up for debate. "Prepare for withdrawal. Iruka are you able to pull out at this time?"

"I need to stay just a day or two longer. I'm close to discovering who the contact for Kumo is."

"Do you require back up?" Yuudai-sensei asked looking pointedly around the room. It occurred to Tomoko then that Iruka was not with a team at all. In fact if she recalled the mission briefing correctly, there had been no mention of an undercover team either.

Iruka was quiet for a moment as he stared down at the map. He looked up at Tomoko and Kenta who were both still trying to comprehend that their old teammate had been their contact all along. "No," Iruka answered looking back at Yuudai-sensei, "Thank you for offering. I've already sent a carrier to the Hokage. So he'll most likely have an extraction team ready."

Yuudai-sensei nodded with a deep frown on his face. "Alright everyone, let's move out."

One by one each of the ninja crept out the small window and into the night. Finally all that were left were Tomoko, Kenta and Yuudai. Iruka begun to busy himself around his pathetically small apartment, cleaning up the bit of mess the crammed ninjas had made. "Iruka," Tomoko began, disentangling herself from Kenta. Iruka looked up from his inspection of a broken vase. "Um, how are you?" She cringed inwardly, that wasn't exactly the question she meant to ask.

"What she means is, where the hell have you been?" Kenta demanded.

"The Hokage had not informed me of you decision to pursue this career option," Yuudai-sensei grunted.

Iruka gave them an easy smile as he set the broken piece onto a small little desk. "The Hokage hadn't been informed either until recently. When I heard about the trouble I requested the mission. Though I'm still in training."

"Who's training you?" Yuudai-sensei asked.

"A nut-job," Iruka laughed, "Completely off his rocker," Iruka cough trying to rein himself in, "He's a retired ninja."

"What's his name?" Yuudai –sensei asked.

"Classified," Iruka replied simple, all the mirth draining from him. "Now you should leave. Before your team gets too far ahead of you."

Yuudai-sensei looked like he wanted to protest, but duty came first. He quick left through the window with Kenta just a moment behind him. Tomoko stood in the middle of the room. Iruka turned toward her with a raised eye-brow. "You didn't tell me," she whispered, "We're teammates and you didn't..."

"I didn't tell anyone really. I requested some emotional leave to hide the fact I was training. The Hokage wasn't happy either," Iruka cut across her.

"You still should have told me. If you were hurt, I could have helped," Tomoko protested.

Iruka regarded her with a blank expression. Tomoko shifted uneasily at the look. "I asked once." Iruka's voice was soft. Tomoko's head snapped up. She tried to recall the memory but it slipped between her fingers. "I asked how you felt after you killed someone. Do you know what you said?" Tomoko shook her head. "I do. You said, 'It doesn't matter how I feel, as long as I protect my village.'" Tomoko recalled that conversation. "I asked if you remembered any of your kills. You said."

"I only remember the first, the rest is just a blur." Tomoko finished looking into the dull eyes of her former teammate.

"I haven't forgotten a single one. I remember every one of my kills, your kills, Kenta's kills, and even Yuudai-Sensei. I can recall each one as if they happened just seconds ago. I couldn't handle that, and when I asked for help from _Yuudai-sensei_," he spat the name out, "Do you know what he said?" Tomoko shook her head. "Get used to it." Iruka hissed leaning forward so he stared up at Tomoko. "So I found a way to get over it all. And the rest. Well the rest is for me to know."

Tomoko shivered at the cold look Iruka was giving her. This she realized was not the Iruka she knew or remembered. Her Iruka had been happy, all smiles, friendly, easy with jokes, and incredibly thoughtful. He protected her during mission, sat while she cried over the loss of her father, and so much more. This Iruka was not that Iruka. He was colder and more calculating. "Do," she swallowed trying to clear the tightness in her throat, "Do you hate me?" She asked. She could feel the burn behind her eyes promising tears.

Iruka's expression softened in an instance. "No," he sighed, "I don't hate any of you. I'm just finding my own way is all."

"And it doesn't include us?" She asked fighting back the tears and losing. She jerked at the sudden touch against her moist cheeks.

Iruka stood inches from her. His bare forehead came to rest against hers. He reached up and traced his hands over her head band tied tight against her neck like a choker. "I don't have a good answer for that just yet," Iruka whispered. His breath smelled like mint as it filled the small gap between them. "I'm still learning how to decide what is right and what is wrong." He looked deeply into her eyes before kissing her gently on the cheek. "But I'm getting there. You just got to wait a little bit longer," he hugged her tight and she returned it, her tears freely falling. They stayed like that for several more minutes before Iruka stepped back and brushed away her last remaining tears. "You need to be going, or I'm sure Yuudai and Kenta will leave you behind."

"Pfft," she huffed waving a dismissive hand. "I'm not too worried. I know my way home."

Iruka smiled, "Me too." Iruka led her to the window.

Tomoko leapt out and just before she cleared the roof she was sure she heard him whisper, "I know my way now."

* * *

_**Petague Killaboo**_


	4. Author note: I AM ALIVE!

Hello all,

I know, "Gasp she's still alive!" Yes I am and I've been away for a very good reason. I was finishing school. I'm graduated now and got myself a bachelor degree! But more important than that, I published my very first e-book! It was crazy work, an emotional roller-coaster, and a growing experience. If you're interested in learning about how hard it was and want a link to my first title check out my blog mydeslexicworld . com (Remove the spaces). There you can even follow what I'm working on now, which is two indie game titles and my second e-book as well as crafting the continuations of these fan fics.

I am sorry it has taken me so long to get back to you all. But getting your reviews have helped push me forward and reminded me that there are people out there who like me and what I have to offer. Just give me a little bit more time to get my life in proper order and I will, hopefully, come back with a chapter that makes you all smile.

With great love and spread the word,

Petague Killaboo

P.S. I just want to let you all know, I will be using some of your comments in the future for a blog post of mine. Your reviews are what keep me strong and growing!


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